Ill-Boding Thoughts
by RicksIlsa
Summary: Hooks thoughts before an during the proposal. Spoilers for 3/19/17 episode. CaptainSwan, EmmaHook


Hooks Thoughts, The Ill-Boding Patterns

A/n: I haven't written anything in quite sometime. The evils of depression have been blocking me at every turn and it has been quite the struggle. Even now, it's only the rum that is helping me to write. And my absolute love of Captain Swan. They deserved more than what they got tonight, so I had to write. One day I hope to write sober again, but until then this is my best. No beta, sorry about that but I haven't been writing enough in any fandom to keep a beta.

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The thoughts that plagued Killian's mind were dark and heavy as he finished off the bottle of rum. To appease Granny he had moved to a booth and allowed her to bring him a plate with a cheeseburger and fries, but only because it was her stipulation that he eat before she would sell him more rum. It was another five shots of rum later before he finally worked up his nerve and left the diner, food untouched.

He walked through the front door of their house, stumbling slightly and trying to hold onto his rehearsed speech. When Emma learned the truth about what had happened to David's father, her Grandfather, she might never forgive him. Or even worse, she would, but David wouldn't and Killian would be responsible for driving a wedge between the two of them. That would be the worst possible thing he could do to Emma, taint her relationship with her father. No, he'd rather her end everything with him than cause her pain with her parents. They were in a good place now, and he'd sooner rip his own heart from his chest than cause her more pain, especially where her parents were concerned.

He called out for her and soon heard the sound of her steps as she rushed down the stairs.

Her smile was a bit wider than usual and as she embraced him, her warmth seemed to chase away the cold of his lonely and brooding day.

"There you are! Oh, wow Captain Morgan! I thought we were switching to water," she teased after a quick taste of his lips.

"I'm afraid it would not give me the courage that I need. There is something I need to tell you," he said, but paused as he saw the expectant look in her bright blue eyes that reminded of her father... and Grandfather.

He looked down, unable to hold eye contact.

"It's just, what I have to say isn't exactly easy, Emma And I'm not sure how you'll react."

"Well, maybe I can make it easier and tell you that my answer would be 'yes'," she said, smiling as her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

Killian was truly confused.

"Yes? And what was the question?"

She gave him a half-apologetic, half-hopeful smile.

"I might have found something in your sea chest that I shouldn't have."

As she held up the engagement ring, he found that his tongue had been tied. He could not speak at all.

"Are you mad at me?" She asked in a small voice and his tongue loosened immediately.

"No, how could I ever be mad at you?"

She released a breath of relief and whispered, "It's just you and me. No walls, no secrets."

Emma pressed the engagement ring into his palm.

"I know I ruined the surprise... but what do you say?"

Killian braced himself to meet her gaze, determined to come clean.

But when her eyes met his he was stunned, speechless yet again.

He had seen his Emma in most states of being: sad, desperate, determined, hopeless, and in the end content.

But he had never seen her truly happy.

And now, as she believed him to be proposing that they bind themselves together for the rest of their lives, he was absolutely stunned by the radiant brilliance of her happy smile. And it wasn't just her smile, her whole being seemed to glow and radiate the most profound and happy joy. And at this moment, despite their validation of 'true love' the Underworld's test had proven, he truly felt and reveled in the knowledge that Emma Swan was the one meant for, and even born for, him.

And he couldn't do it. Instead he did what any man would do who truly loved the woman before him who was unabashedly declaring her love and intentions.

With barely a thought for himself he dropped to his knee.

"Emma Swan..."

He stared up at her unblinkingly committing her smiling face to memory.

"Will you marry me?"

He slipped the ring on her finger and, unthinkably her smile widened.

"Yes, Killian, yes!" She proclaimed as he stood and caught her in a deep kiss when she launched herself into his arms.

He smiled as her embrace tightened, giddy in the moment. But the moment passed quickly as he remembered the secret hanging over his head.

He opened then shut his mouth. No. He would not tell her tonight. He would instead savor the joy of his beloved, make love to her for all he as worth and make sure that by the end of the night she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loved her more than anything in the world.

His secret could wait til tomorrow. He would give her the gift of their pure love tonight, and tomorrow he would reveal the secret that might end it... but at least they would have tonight.

End


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